Hey Hey!

I have been a little lax in posting of late.  The writing muse has seemingly left me bereft of worthy commentary on my goings on and thoughts.

Health and Fitness

Well after my dead stop with my cardio work with my bike being kaputt and letting the good foods and treats of Christmas get to my waistline it added to my weight the tune of 10lbs.  It horrified me to say the least.  Anna was really supportive, as she ever is, but I was beating myself up each day.  BUT, the last three weeks has seen me getting my regular weights routine on track, my eating in check and my biking to work back on the go I have lost 8lbs.
I am really happy with this but need to really push for my target weight of 14 stones with a view to 13 stones if my body looks like it can handle it.  By that time I should have moved into 'Le Bijou Hovel' as a valid rent payer and will need to register at a new doctors and I will be insisting on a full physical work up to assess my health and what I need to look at for the future.

Work

I have passed my probationary period and am now a fully fledged customer support advisor!  Woohoo!  I am loving it to be honest, when a lot of people said things like 'call centre hell' I am enjoying the reverse.  I am busy all day and have no time to faff about.  I realise that I enjoy hard work and that down time in a job bores me and leaves me unchalleged, and unfulfilled.  That fact that it helps me build a future is just fantastic.
Cycling into work has been a challenge.  But only from a technical point of view.  Mainly through punctures and repair disasters.  To be honest I am not gving it up as I am really enjoying it.  One of the biking nuts in my deparment has invited me along to do some proper off road stuff one weekend.  I just may take him up on it.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E...

...Will become final in about 8 - 10 weeks! Another happy factor in my life moves onward.  What felt as earth shattering at one point is realised as one of the best things that ever happened to me.  I feel liberated.  It does mean that the Smizmar loses her status as a 'mistress' but I know she is loooking forward to it in all reality.

Modelling

I have been getting the bug back lately.  It felt strange but I am reconnecting the things that I had left behind with my recent past in some shape way or form.  Will keep you posted on this and maybe add photos too.


Ah well, I most depart as my lunch break is near to over.  I hope that anyone reading this is having as joyful time as I am right now.

TTFN

An Inelegant MInd...

Hey Hey!

Its been a while since I posted but I have had lots on recently and have not found well realistically, made the time!

Work

Have got a probation to pass but its looking good at the moment. I have nailed the customer service angle but then again I should have with my background. I passed my technical test today though! Pass mininum was 60 and I attained a 64. Doesn't seem so hot, but considering I work with a guy who is a trainee web developer and he had to redo a coule of sections to clarfiy a passing mark I am more then pleased.  The folks here are really nice and I have really settled in.  Hope springs for the future.

Health and Fitness

Bleurgh!  Had to stop cycling in as my bike was failing part and so I have not done any cardio since the early part of December and its really annoying me. And with a holiday blowout over the festive season I managed to put on 10lbs!!!  10lbs!!!  I have lost 3 already but it really shocked me.  I will not go backwards.  I have bought a cheap bike to tide me over till I can take part in the cycle to work scheme.  Now all I need is the uber snow of death that has settled over the UK to thaw and off I go.  I am really missing the exercise.

Love

Awesomesauce.

I do not need to put anything else.  I am a lucky, lucky man.

Canada

Well my financial plans begin to kick in now.  The 25th of this month sees me moving into 'poverty overdrive' and sorting my finances out. I am determinedly fixed on my goal and will achieve it.  Its goign to be harsh but I will strive and strive.  I will let nothing get in the way of my future and therefore with the Smizmar also.

TTFN
An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

I am off for a work trip to London today. Really looking forward to it, but really looking forward to getting back too. I am getting to see our London part of the department I work for at Sage. But the best part is I get to go to hteir Christamas party...

...A masquerade ball on a private boat on the river Thames!!!

Will post again once I have had my adventure.

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

Its been a while since I posted.

The new jobs is gong really well, I have been there a month now but it doesn't feel like it. I am thoroughly enjoying it even though its really tough information to take on board and then put into practical use. I am now taking calls with my 'buddy' Sarah just watching over me. I call her Obi-Sarah Kenobi my Jedi master! She has been great and really helpful. If I had to put someone on hold when I was unsure I feel so comfortable with her and have a great rapport with her (I call her my 'Mam' and she calls me her 'Son' seeing as she is 23 and I am 38 it is quite a hoot we have) to the point where I don't do the macho guy crap of blithely guessing, I can just say 'no idea' and she is ace with it and will recap things. I even left her a posh cupcake from a shop that anna_disgrace adores to say thank you for the help...




The reason for the post title is due to Anna and I shopping the Newcastle city centre yesterday when I spotted a purse in the street. There was no ID in it but some cards and over £100. We took it to the police station on Market Street and handed it in (despite being laden down with shopping I might add!). SO we will have topped up out good karma there. Either that or the cop he took it will be having good night out tonight ;-)) I do hope that we saved some poor soul from worry and a helped their Christmas be better.

I am still ensconced at 'Le Bijou Hovel' with the ever delightful Smizmar. It is just awesomsauce to say the least and we are a good domestic match in a lot of regards. We even have budgets and everything! I still take great delight in cooking up a storm for Anna and the pumpkin pie has been a firm success. As a boyfriend (doesn't seem a good term for a couple who are in their 30's? Suggestions for a better term are greatfully received) of a huge burger lover I have had to 'endure' trips to McDonalds from time to time to sate her lusts. But I have made homemade burgers (that are far better for you) and they have wooed her again. No more 'Maccy-D's for us its Annapax Corporation burgers all the way!!!

TTFN

An Inelegant mind.

Hey Hey!

Its been a while since I posted but I have been farily busy of late with life affording me plenty of distractions.

I am now a Customer Support Advisor for a company called Sage in a strong growth area of the business that is a paymnet service provider (PSP) or gateway called Sage Pay . The links aren't exactly interesting but its quicker than explaining them in detail here. My new job has been underway for nearly two weeks now I am still loving it. Its a tough challenge as there is a whole bunch of IT jargon and processes to learn which I have never been exposed to before. Anna has nailed it for me when she says I am a bright guy who has been stagnating and unchallenged in my previous roles and the new challenge is just what I need. I am even enjoying getting things wrong as its such a nice wake up call.

The place itself is amazing as a workplace (from the outside is looks like a James Bond vilains lair!) and the people in my department are really reassuring and friendly. I feel very much at home and that is driven by the people and managers there. I think most people think of it as 'call centre hell' that I am doing but after meeting people from other departments and others who I have known for sometime who work there have explained that Sage Pay is ran very differently to the others they have. Mind you, working 28% less hours for 28% more money makes it all the sweeter and especially seeing as how I am now a virtually 9 - 5'er after working seventeen years in retail and the horrid shifts you get from that.

I am cycling in to work, which in the hilly country that is the Tyne Valley I am finding punishing to say the least. But I have come to loathe relying on public transport due to its unreliability and cost too! A four weeks pass would cost me over £75! And Sage are part of the governemnts 'cycle to work' initiative that will see me get a really decent bike instead of the bedframe with wheels I am using currently. Mind you it will get me fit and keep me fit as its thirty minutes there and nearly forty minutes back which also means I am not worrying about the role being more sedentary than I am used to.

I have pretty much moved in with the Smizmar now at 'Le Bijou Hovel'. We just seem to fit. It really amazing as we seem to complement each other so well. I am a lucky, lucky man. Who knew that domesticity would be so wonderful? Roll on my house selling so we can build up to the 'big move'...

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Ah well.  Starting the new job has made me realise that doing NANO for the first time would be mad as I am just starting a new job and want my brain to be an empty vessel to be filled and give all my concentration to it.  Will endeavour to write something big once I am settled but now just seems like a bad time to do it.

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind..

Here I am up after 5 hours sleep.  This is a really boring run of early starts that I have managed to stay in bed for that I have just managed to doze in and out of sleep still, but not tonight.  I am sure it will sort itself out or I may have to see what 'hokey' things I may need to look up to see how I can sleep right through.  Going to the quacks would seem pointless as getting to sleep is never an issue and its not a route I would like to take anyway.  Any tips, dear reader, then please pass them on...

I am doing another shift at the Duke of Wellington pub again tomorrow.  I had planned to go see an exhibition at a small local art museum about 'The Supremes' and their stage outfits etc.  Anna didn't fancy it yesterday but I thought 'what the heck how often do you get a chance to see something that unusual?' and was going to go ton Sunday afternoon on my own.  Buy hey-ho, it will help out Joanna (the really nice barmaid) who would be on own for over 4 hours and Lance (the landlord) who is unwell at the minute.  I can get paid in cash in hand or beer. It will definitely be cash, so don't tell the taxman!

Lets see if I can squeeze some sleep out of my body (or mind?)...

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

I am still a little bit drunk after my leaving 'do' (an English term, not sure if our 'over the pond' cousins use it in reference to parties and get togethers?) last night with the Forbidden Planet folks.  My 'little sis' Claire bought me a good luck balloon and I got a huge box of fresh cookies from Dru which tasted great and got handed round as diabetes was one of the main ingredients in them!  Everyone chipped in and got me a bottle of Sailor Jerry rum as a leaving present too.  And despite my addled state last night I managed to buy Anna some roses on the way home, trim them and put them in a vase with water.  I have actual magic powers.  Honest!

Now normally I would be really frought over the new job and new start that I am about to undertake.  Traditionally I would have questioned myself, my decisions, turning it over in my mind again and again and again to then become wracked with self doubt.  But strangely, I am not.  It is testament to how much I have changed as a person and how having an amazing goal to achieve is good for me.  I need goals.  Silly thing to think and realise but thats why I am doing this journal.  Its really great to see myself in words (nearly typed 'on paper' there, another oddity of the human mind there!) as it has been a great tool for reflection.

I am going to start posting about my reading soon.  I had an epiphany about my reading habits this year and will make a detailed post on it soon as I have other fish to fry, well actually a pie!  Today I shall make pumpkin pie to give the Smizmar a real taste of home to celebrate Halloween whilst we watch horror movies throughout the evening. 

Thought I would leave my standard picture on this post rather than dig up a cheesy Halloween one.  Lets face it, its all the more spook for it being a real pentegram.  A Church of England one at that.  Bwahahahaha!

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

I am feeling really crap about myself at the minute.  Everything is going very well but my health and fitness have been on the back burner as it has been hectic all round recently.  But I keep wondering if i am just making an excuse?  The trapped nerve in my shoulder has stopped me from doing any upper body work for around 4 weeks and I had been a little lax in the two to three weeks before that too.  Much as I have started doing some press-ups again I have struggled to do 10 reps when before was doing 3 sets of 15 reps with inclines no problems at all.  I think that has disheartened me a little as I was doing 10 press-ups in early May.

I think I am having control issues with food too.  Not that I am gorging or seriously over eating by any stretch of the imagination but I can feel it being a real battle right now.  I just need to make sure its a battle that I win.  I am never going back I am obviously just at a testing stage in the war on where I want to be.  I really have to sort this out though.  Much as I am going to cycle to my new job an hour a day for five days) the job will be more sedentary and that bothers me.  Much as myslef and Anna are virtually living together I still 'feel' in limbo.  Thats really pissing me off too.  Everything keeps moving forwards in my life but I think I am caught up in the pace of it now.  I want things moving on but feel a little stuck.  I think this is another thing affecting my health and fitness.

Or maybe I am just looking for excuses?  But I need to be tough on myself and stop making what I perceive as excuses.  really thats just what they are.  I am glad I sat down to type this as it has truly made me realise I am just being weak right now and that is not good enough.  The human mind is a bizarre little thing.   But I need to listen to it. 

Strength of will
Control
Routine

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

If you have been reding my journal you may have noticed my love affair with my own country waning.  We are no longer Great Britain, we are just Britain.  I have just been watching this show www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00nj6xc/Who_Made_Me_Fat/  (very much the light entertainment view on health and wellbeing, but to be fair I was watching it while I exercised!).  I was utterly horrified to learn that 3 NHS hospitals in the UK today have BURGER KING'S IN THEM!!!  Not on the grounds, in the freaking hospital itself.  It has come as no surprise to anyone I have told about my plans to move to Vancouver with the Smizmar, but I have found it all too disheartening to find no-one defending this country at all.  Not one.

Dear Old Blighty?  Poor Old Blighty.  Sigh.

TTFN

An Inelegant MInd... 

Hey Hey!

I am now in the countdown mode for my new job which I start on November the 2nd.  I have got my new wardrobe for the 'business casual' dress code which I went looking for with the ever delightful anna_disgracewho did manage to sneak time in looking at the women's section too.  Amazing the power of women to shop!  I looked quite dapper and am looking forward to wearing something other than jeans and a polo shirt for work.  I am a lover of sartorial elegance. I still crave a Cary Grant suit, that man just oozed style and elegance.

I did a test cycle ride on my crappy old mountain bike to see if it is feasible to do the journey from Anna's (where I seem to be ensconced, much to my delight).  I am at 'Le Bijou Hovel' more than I am at my own place right now!  In fact I have spent one night alone at my house in the last three weeks or so.  No sign of killing each other so all is well and we are planning to co-habit, so this is a good sign.  It took me 30 minutes do the bike ride which surprised the hell out of me, that and the fact it didn't wear me out to do it either.  So I will be taking advantage of one of the few pieces of the Labour governments good ideas by utilising the 'Cycle to Work Scheme'  and getting a government subsidised bike which I can pay for out of my first years wages too.  How good is that?

In relation to me starting my new role a customer I was chatting with in Forbidden Planet told me her boyfriend had told her 'that he'd barely recognised the Assistant Manager who had been sacked from FP who used to work at Games Workshop last time he was in'.  I sat there a little aghast at this but in her defence said she was surprised at this as she has known 'the guy'.  When I pointed out I was 'that guy' and chatted to her she was gobsmacked as she had not recognised me.  I have lost nine stones but I have not changed skin tone or grew an extra nose for pete's sake!  She said she was going to kill her boyfrioend and his mates who were chatting about my 'sacking' and I asked her to stop them from slandering me!  I wasn't annoyed by this and found it all very funny but it still amazes me how people assume the worst about folks.  Ah well...

I have been trying to slow down the dieting and putting my eating habits closer to a norm as I enter the phase for losing the last 17lbs I want to shed.  Its been tough and has also been hampered by my inability to exercise fully due to a really annoying trapped nerve in my right shoulder.  Its also been tough juggling this into some kind of routine but with the time I am with Anna I am now confident enought to jump on her exercise bike and sort meals together properly.  As we begin to sort out our longer term plans which has led to some seemingly obvious short term plans of the prevoiusly mentioned co-habitation.

Staying on this topic I am happy to say we are really working well together and seem to revel in our domesticity, which bodes well for when we get to do it when I offload my place .  I was really apprehensive about bringing this up at first at Anna is very much an independent person who has suited her singledom and cat-lady status with great joy and enjoyment of it.  Luckily I am more than happy to occupy space without intruding and wouldn't want her to change.  I fell for Anna for who she is and this is something I would not want to infringe upon.  By the same token I am still finding my feet again and am still not sure about what drives me.  I have however found a love of simple things and am losing the need of the things we crave as our busy lives these days force us to crave and want things and activities that are just plain pointless.

Well the boudoir is calling and I need some much needed rest and sleep.

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

Well I have lots going on in my life right now that is very exciting and hugely positive.  So I will start off with the most important part.  The best part.  The part that gives me greatest joy...

...After having such a terrible time in 2008 when I was lower than I ever thought I could be things began to change.  Something amazing happened.  Someone amazing happened.  If you have been reading my posts this years it is quite easy to know that this is Anna.  After our first meetings in my 'Grotto of Grot' in the bowels of Forbidden Planet, she has become someone who I have gone beyond liking, being attracted to or caring for.  As it has gone beyond that as I realise how much she has come to mean to me.  She is amazing in so many ways it has caught me by completely by surprise.  This can be put more simply.  I have fallen in love.  Truly in love.
This is something I thought I had in my life before but realise now that it was nothing like this.  I have had my love and affection reciprocated in a myriad of ways from simple gestures to stolen glances to thoughtful actions and deeds; and so much more.  She is a kindred spirit and such an amazing human being that as a reader of my posts you will know that I keep saying 'I am a lucky, lucky man'.  I am, in fact, the luckiest man.  As Anna reads this she is probably thinking 'soppy bugger'.  She is my Smizmar.

And for the record, in writing,  I love you Anna...

So what else then I hear you cry!  Well with myself and Anna making long term plans after lengthy discussions I have decided to move to Canada with Anna in 2013.  To the stunning city of Vancouver no less.  I have had my great love of the England chipped away for a great number of years now and have tinkered with starting again in pastures new.  When we first talked with Anna's career goals and aspirations I did not even hesitate at the suggestion and said 'Yes' with absolutely no qualms or hesitation.  We have made our intitial outlines for what we need to begin thinking about to get there and it is all very achievable.  And with some very stringent saving and planning we can build a wonderful future for myself, for Anna and for us.

Theres more...

I finally got a job at Sage!  Its a massive accountancy and financial systems software company that has an excellent reputation.  I will earn just over 20% more money, which will be not that once the taxman takes his cut but it still makes Vancouver that little bit closer.  I will be going to mainly Monday to Friday office hours for more money with a large company where with hard work I have prospects too.  How sweet is that?  Not only that they have offices and businesses out in Canada too.  In Vancouver.  So you never know, maybe I could get a transfer of some kind out to their Canadian set up?   Things happen for a reason is something I keep saying.  Lets hope that bears out.

Onto to more mundane happenings in my life.  I have been struggling to get my exercise built into my routine properly and its really hacking me off.  I feel rubbish about not doing it at a time when I am staring to normalise my diet a little more.  This now means I am going to have to be more stringent with myself from a dietary point of view to get me back on track.  Some of this has been borne out of me being a bit rubbish at times and me being off colour lately.  Once I am feeling 100% (well 90% at least) I am going to be ruthless with myself.  I will never go backwards.  Never.

Still no sign of any movement on the sale of the house.  I should get a report on the estate agents actions to sell it and including web viewings etc. fairly soon and will ring them for updates too.  This is the real stumbling block to moving my future forwards.  It is a bind for the Fonfonroo too and when I saw her last night she was just as mental as ever.  She is becoming even more of a 'Bily Liar' character as we spend more time apart.  Maybe it was always there and I was too close to see it?  Who knows?  One good thing was that she is finally engaging a solicitor to start the divorce proceedings.  The other thing the sale of the house would allow is myself and Anna to co-habit.  we can both have a slightly better standard of life and save up much more effectively, by a very long way, for our move.  So fingers crossed on this one.  If you know anyone who wants to buy my house let me know ;-))

I was going to put this under a cut. But what the hell, I wanted to shout this lot from the rooftops!

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind... 

Enjoy!

I have woken up at 4:30am.  Great.  I have an interview at 11am and you would think its nerves.  It isn't.  This sleeplessness is is becoming really dull.  There is no rhyme or reason to it, it is just sporadic and not consistent.  Getting to sleep is never an really an issue I go out like a light but for some reason I find I wake very early and then just doze if I am lucky.

I bumped into the Fonfonroo's younger brother this morning on the way into work.  He was pretty gobsmacked when he saw me.  I haven't seen him since last Christmas and all he did was stare me up and down as we briefly chatted.  He is a typical 'Geordie' lad which would take a little to long to explain as I want to get back to bed.  He isn't a bad lad by any stretch of the imagination and I always got on with him. 
Its still slightly odd seeing people who I now feel almost a 'past life' if that makes sense.  I am moving on all the time in my head but have still got a long time to go before its fully resolved.  I hope to get lots of 'plotting and planning' done with Anna in that regard on Sunday which I am really, looking forward to.

Popped into the 'Duke of Wellington' last night for a few beers and had a really good laugh.  Chatted with the outgoing commercial director of a local radio staion, Trevor, who was a really nice fella.  Whilst chatting with the landlord Lance (a good mate of my line manager Rich)  and a lovely lass called Joanna (who is one of his barmaids just back from Poland visitng her Polish boyfriend) I roped my self into helping behind the bar for a couple of hours on Sunday Lunchtime.   Joanna will be on her own for an eight hour stretch otherwise.  The way I look at it doing this to help Lance every now and again allows me to add strings to my bow that can never really hurt to have.  It all ties into me trying to be a nicer person too.  Who the heck am I again? ;-))

Ho-Hum.  Guess I will check my e-mails and go try to slumber again.


TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

I have a long term goal.  This has all come about as part of getting to know anna_disgrace better and us moving on in my, her and our future.  She is an exceptional woman so I am using LJ to say something she is going to simply adore...

...Anna, I need your help plotting and planning for this goal to make it happen!

She will have just loved reading that.

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

Last night I spent a magnificent evening taking the ever delightful anna_disgrace out for her birthday meal.  We had aperitif's at 'Tiger Tiger' consisting of champagne cocktails for mi'lady and Bombay Sapphire and tonic for me before heading to 'Thai Siam' in the pouring rain.  We ate Thai as Anna requested where she discovered the delights of mussaman curry that I had ordered and a lovely night was had.


Ain't she delicious!

More posts soon. Got plenty to think about at the minute which is all kinds of good!!!  It really is!!!

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Bada-Boom!  Bada-Bing!

Well here is a photo I promised that I would put up when I got one...

"Just when I thought I was out.  They pulled me back in"

If you have any family members you want taking out just gve me a call on 500-HITMAN.  (Local call charges apply)

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Well I have just woken up at Anna's leaving her wiffling and snoring in bed.  I was making myself a cup of tea (Lady Grey, very nice brew that I wholeheartedly recommend) and saw Anna's scales in the kitchen which I have not jumped on in three weeks.  I thought "Come on then Warriner, lets see how the lack of exercise and crappier eating these past few weeks have affected you" and jumped on them.  I was more than pleased to find I am 15 stone 3lbs!!!  A loss of 4lbs.

I had felt that I had been 'porking out' with the crap I had treat myself too but forgot that it was realistically in moderation.  I am coming to realise that I am noramlising a healthy diet with treats in it too.  Ironically, as sit here typing I still feel a bit rubbish about myself.  The human mind is bloody odd.

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Its an odd mix of things at the moment.

I am really hacked off at the way I feel about my poor diet these last two weeks and my lack of exercise even though I have been getting back to normality these last few days (I am even typing this in the breaks in some free weights reps!).  I am concentrating better and my memory is getting back on track after a strange year of a clouded and foggy thinking at times which is almost certainly due to the stress I have been under at times. Still feel really frustrated by my inability to change my station in a working capacity due to a variety of factors, the main ones of which have been out of my control, but I do feel more confident that this cannot last.  I have begun thinking about my longer term future in a positive way after talking with anna_disgraceand this has built goals into my future which I have been severely lacking.

And most of all am amazingly happy.  I had a moment of clarity after my long weekend off  that that was the most relaxed time off I have had in about 5 - 7 years.  We did very little over the 5 days and just found Anna's company to be wonderful.  Its amazing the impact people have in your life.  The more time passes the more I do believe that things happen or occur for a reason.  Life, is good.

Would type more but the working day beckons...

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...

Hey Hey!

Just had a trip to the family homestead of my sister Christine with the Smizmar.  Had this planned before Anna abandoned me for Diego and Juan on her trip to Spain.  I had hoped for a balmy September evening and we got one!  My sister had prepared antipasti and fresh bread followed by homemade meatballs and pasta all outside in her stunning little garden.  Christine and my brother-in-law Richard have worked hard at making a beautiful home and their garden is no exception with illuminated water features and outdoor heaters and lovely plants and shrubs.
Anna and I had a great night and really enjoyed ourselves just chilling and sipping drinks throughout the night as it wore on.  The next day saw a visit to my mothers little flat where she plied us with a traditional Sunday lunch, we ended up getting back to Newcastle later than we had wanted but had had a lovely time so all was good.  There was no real excess had (apart from the grub and I still feel stuffed from my families hospitality!) which we are both detoxing to get over today.  How healthy are we?!?!

TTFN

An Inelegant Mind...